Low Midnight Sun

by How I Became Invisible

/
1.
Alone again, feeling like I'm back in my bed when I was 10 Trying to count sheep but only finding wolves inside my head 40 years in a broken body that's never felt like mine Counting backwards every second Trying to will myself to fine, I'm fine, I'm fine There's gotta be more to life than this Living isn't just trying to exist I can't be the only one who thinks I'm on the brink of something better And someday, I'll look back on this And I'll say, "This is where I started living" Making choices for the best I'm doing more and thinking less I'm not just killing time I'm killing the worst years of my life I am an alien, having an out of body experience again I'm a ghost who haunts this house of the dead And so it's back to earth I tread Is this another end, another boring story in my head I can't deny, I can't deny, I resupply And out the door again Change my habits, change my name Grow out my hair and make a change I've finally figured out the game And I'm on the brink of something better And someday, I'll look back on this And I'll say, "This is where I started living" Making choices for the best I'm doing more and thinking less I'm not just killing time I'm killing the worst years of my life Someday, I'll be fine, I'll be fine I deny, I resupply I'm on the brink of something better And someday, I'll look back on this And I'll say, "This is where I started living" Making choices for the best I'm doing more and thinking less I'm not just killing time I'm killing the worst years of my life Hey, someday Someday, I'll be fine, I'll be fine I'm killing the worst years of my life
2.
I am stranded on this island singing whale songs in my sleep Praying to any god who's listening that I've got a soul to keep I am fraying at my edges, picking hard at every seam You can look for hidden meanings but it's really not that deep I'm not that deep What do you do when all you can do is dissolve Drag out every consequence til the last one is the cause "We're treading water" they say, but I'm not one to absolve The sins of all my yesterdays I write down my scattered thoughts I'm a breaker on the shoreline I'm the last train leaving town I'm the concrete dam that's holding back your tides I'm the anchor to your everything Leave me til I drown Canonize your afternoons, I'll be sleeping in the streets Just wasting all my hours, kicking out all my relief And I'm still waiting on this island, a lonely shipwrecked thief I don't own my only answers They went down with my beliefs I'm a breaker on the shoreline I'm the last train leaving town I'm the concrete dam that's holding back your tides I'm the anchor to your everything Leave me til I drown Leave me til I drown Leave me til I drown
3.
River Song 04:08
I'd like to know what you are thinking For the moment now that we've been drinking All our cares away on this cold and lonely autumn night Is it about us and what we could be? Is it everything your father said about me? Well I guess that's fine But I've never been one to go down without a fight Let's go down to the river you know Back to the place we call home Let's go down to the river tonight So I guess we're back where we began it On the shore of all the places where we planned it Every day and dream on that warm and hopeful summer night Can you look at me like you used to? Or has the ship sailed away with out futures? Well I guess that's fine But I'm still asking you to come home with me tonight Let's go down to the river you know Back to the place we call home Let's go down to the river tonight Let's go down to the river you know Back to the place we call home Let's go down to the river tonight Don't tell me it's a fairytale That all our plans and dreams have failed Just stay one night and we'll be warmer In the light of day The river's here and so am I So let that be our lullaby And though the stars may fall around us I swear we'll find our way back home Let's go down to the river you know Back to the place we call home Let's go down to the river tonight Let's go down to the river you know Back to the place we call home Let's go down to the river tonight Tonight Tonight
4.
The hope is keeping me alive And it's only just a step away from here This time Your lips are telling me it's fine To move on from the space we never filled With time And it's only a matter of time Before I play my hand and find It's time I love the way we fall in line Failing still to keep in touch by your Design Your lips are deadly, love, to mine And I'd fall apart if your crosshairs would just cross With mine Falling in love Falling in line If life is a lie Wherefore am I It's only a matter of time Until I play your hand and find It's time Cross my heart if you'd define Any sense of consequence to our design Your lips are a vanquished sense of line That I will never get to divine And it's only a matter of time Until you play your hand and find It's time It's time It's time It's time The hope is keeping me alive And you're only just a step away from home This time
5.
Last night I dreamed you were back again Larger than life again Holding me tight again Placing those same kisses on my brow Sweeter than ever now Lord, I remember how Couldn't get enough of kissing Do you know how much you're missing? No, you don't But I do The days like a slow train trickle by And even the words that I write Refuse to fly All I can hear is your song haunting me Can't get the melody Out of my head, you see Distractions are amusing Do you know how much you're losing? No, you don't But I do But I do, and I wonder if I'm past the point of rescue There is no word for you and all the best that you can do Never meant to push or shove you Do you know how much I love you? No, you don't But I do I swore I'd never fall like this again Fools like me never win Came to my knees again Can't close the door on the likelihood Things might be just as good As I always believed they would Gotta let your love invite me Baby, do you think it might be? No, you don't But I do But I do, and I wonder if I'm past the point of rescue There is no word for you and all the best that you can do Never meant to push or shove you Do you know how much I love you? No, you don't But I do But I do, and I wonder if I'm past the point of rescue There is no word for you and all the best that you can do Never meant to push or shove you Do you know how much I love you? No, you don't But I do Oh no you don't, but I do Oh no you don't, but I do
6.
Hear the trees and their whispers Let it come to life All the love that there is for you Is waiting in the light Soft kisses and the rain An embrace under the sky This love could last beyond the world Let it come to life You leave me breathless in the morning In the sunlight through the air You steal my oxygen in afternoons When the light flows through your hair You keep me floating in the evenings When the moon hangs low and clear You are every moment in my day You are the reason If I could write the future For a minute, an entire day Then I wouldn't be so scared Then you wouldn't run away If I could write the future Then maybe I could say That I'm not running from the question That I'm enough to make you stay Let it come to life Let it come to life The echoes in the space between The echoes of both you and me Fighting off the gravity Fighting off the gravity Of everything

about

Part 1: Denial.

credits

released February 19, 2021

How I Became Invisible is:
N.Reed - vocals, guitar, bass, drums, keys, programming

Additional vocals on track 1: Saint Judas, Nick Gonzalez, Joe Howland, Shawn Gamble

All songs, music and lyrics, by N.Reed
except for track 5, by Mick Hanly

Recorded at Wayward Studios, NJ/VT 2020.
Mastered by Azimuth Mastering www.azimuthmastering.com

Thank you to everyone everywhere. You know who you are. Be seeing you.
www.howibecameinvisible.com

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How I Became Invisible Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

songs about science, sadness, anger, and transition. we're all in this together. so raise your fist and start to sing.

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