The End Of The Dark

by How I Became Invisible

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1.
Well I guess I saw this coming for us Papers flying as I step off the bus You've got your own decisions to make And I've got time to deal with mine Somewhere we were meant to be good In a drive-in movie 50's neighborhood I've always said nostalgia is lame I guess it doesn't matter now There's a line that stands in time Where this one's yours and this one's mine Rearrange the piles And make a newer cleaner grand design Lift yourself up, find your home You are not all that you own But we're all out here alone And that's okay Pick up my things, put them back where they began A standard break from all my carefully laid plans I've got my own decisions to make But the ceiling is low and I'm so tired now There's a line that stands in time Where this one's yours and this one's mine Rearrange the piles And make a newer cleaner grand design Lift yourself up, find your home You are not all that you own But we're all out here alone And that's okay Watching balloons fly off I knew I'd miss you, I know I miss you Coldest January day I thought I'd follow, I can't follow Watching the plane take off I thought love'd save me, I thought you'd save me Watching the car pull away I'm glad I knew you
2.
Waiting 04:53
I've been waiting so long For something to make sense For something to change this But there's little sense left here so I guess it's up to me I've been trying so long To reason my way through To show what we can do But you've taken it out of my hands so carelessly Count the scars on your arm Wear them like a brand Like the one near your shoulder Like the one below my hand I wish I wasn't listening to the same song all the time But it says I'm not alone so I guess that's fine I guess I'm fine And I'm trying To stay on the bright side today But all the things we love will some day go away And I'm trying To be the best I can today And so it's off into the wild blue before we fade I've been running so long That I've lost sight of the real truth The things that I hold to And now the way seems clear so I guess I'm who I am I've been standing in place While the world moves around me Learning how to breathe I accept the things I cannot change And work on the things I can I'm trying To stay on the bright side today But all the things we love will some day go away And I'm trying To be the best I can today And so it's off into the wild blue before we fade And this is where the heart goes When it doesn't know where it stays So we try to move on By standing still in our space Just stuck in our words But the melody is fine The night can't stay this dark all of the time And I'm trying To stay on the bright side today But all the things we love will some day go away And I'm trying To be the best I can today And so it's off into the wild blue before we fade Don't let it fade Don't let it fade Don't let it fade
3.
I'm hoping this isn't the last time we see eye-to-eye. The hardest part of conversation is knowing just when it's too late to try To salvage connection, avoid complication, Check all the engines, assume the position, And let it go out with the ease I'm assuming you smile. It's soft and it's sweet, and I'd love if I could keep You around through tomorrow, so I can sing you to sleep. We'll bury our fears deep beneath all the words we reply, And try to outlast all the lovers and losers we've kissed and have hung out to dry. The past is the prelude, tonight is me and you Making our way through the minefields we've let loose In whispers and wavering moments we just won't let die. It's soft and it's sweet, and I'd love if I could keep You around through tomorrow, so I can sing you to sleep. I take one last look at the reflection of light in your eyes. It's later and darker than we planned to stay, but it's easy to lose track of time. It slips and it shivers and then it delivers The answer we dreaded but knew would be given. So I swallow hard and choke out a silent goodbye. So kiss me one last time. Kiss me one last time Kiss me one last time Kiss me one last time It's soft and it's sweet, and I'd love if I could keep You around through tomorrow, so I can sing you to sleep. And it's soft and it's sweet, and I'd love if I could keep You around through tomorrow, so I can sing you to sleep.
4.
Ghosts Redux 03:47
This is the pattern I live in And I don't know who to trust I've got a demon, just like you When will I break this wall? Who's going to break this fall? When will it catch me, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? "I can't lie to you about your chances, but You have my sympathies" Gone.... This is the feeling of defeated It's just more of what's not needed What am I still fighting for? And it's gone.... This war is never ending I know what I'm defending What am I waiting for? What am I waiting for? There are wondrous things There are magical things There are dangerous things We get what we deserve
5.
She could hear them fucking through those thin hotel walls She heard babies crying, she heard laughter, she heard sirens Red and blue lights flashing through those cheap hotel drapes Blood spilled out on the porcelain The bathtub's overflowing Paralytic states of dependency All waking life's just a living dream Agitated states of amazement Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Spread out face down on those stained cheap hotel sheets She spent the last years of her life running from the boy she used to be Cut her face wide open, shaved the bone down, Pumped her lips up exaggerated, a fucked up kind of feminine Paralytic states of dependency All waking life's just a living dream Agitated states of amazement Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Night time at the hotel there was fighting in the hall Thin chain lock to keep the world out She held her breath till it was gone Standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror In her dysphoria's reflection She still saw her mother's son Paralytic states of dependency All waking life's just a living dream Agitated states of amazement Never quite the woman that she wanted to be Never quite the woman that she wanted to be And by the time the ball dropped it was already over By the time the ball dropped it was already over No resolutions for the new year beginning tomorrow
6.
I've been asking myself if I've done enough for this To be worthy of the world that I have made for us And in the shadow of the man I was And the woman I've always been The truth is I am enough I've been asking for revolution Panic and chaos without resolution When the panic inside was all I could see Now I find that I'm clear in my own decisions I am enough and the world, it has to catch up Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark There is no one coming to save the world So it has to be us And it's beautiful and sad And it's all that I have And that will have to be enough Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Everything that I used to know Is lost in the past where it belongs No looking back, just further on Three cheers for the end of the dark Three cheers for the end of the dark

about

Part 3: Acceptance

credits

released October 15, 2021

How I Became Invisible is:
N.Reed - vocals, guitar, bass, drums, keys, programming

Drums on track 2: Nick Gonzalez
Lead guitar on track 2: Mark Bancroft
Drums on track 4: Jake Noonan

All songs, music and lyrics, by N.Reed
except track 5, by Against Me!

Recorded at Wayward Studios, NJ 2021
Mastered by Azimuth Mastering: www.azimuthmastering.com

Cover photo by Ruby Darling.

This is the end of the dark, and the end of this time. Please take care of each other, we’re all we’ve got. Thank you. With love, Emily.

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How I Became Invisible Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

songs about science, sadness, anger, and transition. we're all in this together. so raise your fist and start to sing.

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