You told me that you wanna die
I said that I can't relate, I've spent too much time
Trying to survive and still fighting
Barely moving but alive
Staying inside through a whole summer
Creating something out of nothing that I'll ever find
Four rooms and an entire life
Stuck in between myself and a waste of time

I'm staying up nights looking for the light
At the end of the tunnel again
So many nights without my friends
I'm staying up nights looking for the light
All I've found is my entire life inside
Had trouble sleeping but it all makes sense

Maybe it's over, maybe I'm wiser
Maybe I'm overthinking and should just call it quits
Maybe this is really happening
Maybe it's another time I have to start over
I've been worried for an entire winter
Standing in place while the present passed me by
Four walls and an exit sign
Sleeping through the panic of an endless wasted life

I'm staying up nights looking for the light
At the end of the tunnel again
So many months without my friends
I'm staying up nights looking for the light
All I've found is my entire life inside
Had trouble sleeping but it all makes sense

It’s the feeling when you hear a song that caves the center of your chest in and the emptiness is both frightening and comforting at the same time.
It’s being awake at 230am knowing you have to get up at 6 but staring into the blackness looking for the color swirl that happens just out of the corner of your eye.
It’s the quiet of the morning walk when you can hear birds singing but they’re not close enough to make out a clear melody but it’s close enough to let you know it’s there.

It’s a sadness but a sadness you know and live with and live in, an anger you let dissipate but hover like a light fog, a loneliness that comes with being around other people.
It’s wanting to be held and touched but also left alone and ignored.
It’s everything, it’s nothing really.
It’s fine, ok, getting by, alive, dealing with it.
It’s not.
It’s all of that.
We all have trouble sleeping